All the feels..

Lately it feels like my emotions have been all over the place. Despite the way I feel I've been trying to focus myself on remaining steady. Yesterday ended up being a hectic day and I actually didn’t get to read my daily chapters in the Word. I was up from about 2:30 on last night though and I decided to catch up on yesterday’s chapters, as well as, read my chapters for today out of the One Year Bible. One of the chapters I missed was Genesis 45 and this verse stuck out to me “But don’t be upset, and don’t be angry with yourselves for selling me to this place. It was God who sent me here ahead of you to preserve your lives.”  

To put this all in context, this chapter consists of Joseph (sold into slavery by his brothers, had a coat of many colors) meeting his family after many years. At this point Joseph is now the Governor of Egypt and in charge of distributing food during the famine (that Joseph foretold). I started putting myself in Joseph’s shoes. I’m face to face with these men (family no less!) that completely betrayed me and they’re asking me to give them food. Their life is literally in Joseph’s hands and what does he do??  He shows compassion. He sees the bigger picture God orchestrated. He CHOSE to see the good instead of the overwhelming evidence against his brothers. I love that.

I love that the Lord knows just how to speak to our hearts. Anything I’m facing completely pales in comparison to what Joseph went through.  It feels big because I can tend to overthink things, but really all I'm responsible for is me. I say this all the time but perspective.is.everything.

Nostalgia

Do you ever catch yourself looking around your house and something catches your eye and you think... I want to remember this forever.  That's what this picture means to me. It seems at face value that it's just a mess in the corner, but I see the boy that this mess belongs to.

My son, Ian, is 11 years old, and he has been playing baseball since he was 3.  He has grown up devoting his Spring, Summer, and sometimes Fall to practices and games for a sport he loves.  The fact is that it's not just him that devotes time to it but his entire family.  Our summers are pretty much filled with practices and ball games and over time, as much as we feel like we'd really rather be doing something else out of sheer exhaustion, the truth is that we love it just as much as he does.

I'm super sentimental when it comes to my kids as it is, but knowing that my son is a year and a half away from being a teenager causes me to hold tighter to him. I know that once he's a teenager those years are going to fly by faster than the 11 we've already had with him. So when I see this mess in the corner, I get to remember him as a little boy that doesn't think about much outside of baseball, football, and video games.

One day my boy is going to set his sights on other things and I know I'll be wishing for the days spent on the dusty baseball fields and the 100 degree temps. So, for now, I'm not going to fuss about the mess he left in the middle of the floor. I'm going to savor the moment.

2017

I have begun to embrace the term "seasons" as it pertains to life. If there is one thing I wish someone would have told me going into adulthood it's that you go through life in stages, but those moments, though seemingly long, won't last forever.

When I look back on my 20's I see it broken up in seasons. There was a season of creating a family, there was a season of change (moving from house to house, city to city, etc.), there was a season of self discovery. There are busy seasons and there are quiet seasons. 

Chris and I are going into our 13th year of marriage, and we no longer have babies in the house. I've been asked how you know that you're finished having kids and my response is always "you just know". It feels like there's always a longing in your heart for one more little baby, and then you just reach a point where that's not there anymore. You just know that everyone who is supposed to be in your family is here. Then you close the book on that chapter.

So now, we begin another season.  To see these little babies into their own adulthood.  I'm at a place now where I'm beginning to have more free time and I'm looking forward to devoting more time to this blog. I've looked back through previous posts and it's more than a little embarrassing, but I've grown as a person. You have to start somewhere..

I'm looking forward to what the year 2017 holds for us. I have huge expectation in my heart and I look forward to sharing with you as it all plays out. Cheers to the new year!