Monday, February 17, 2014

Simplifying Life

Psalm 90:12 (NKJV) “So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

Steven Furtick of Elevation Church was speaking on Psalm 90:12 during his Times and Seasons series and he said a couple of statements about this passage that struck a chord with me.  He was trying to clarify what David meant by saying “teach us to number our days.” He said “Teach us how to correctly number our days”; “Teach us how to count what counts, so that we can make the most of the time we have”; “Teach me how to know what moments matter”; and “Teach me how to keep what matters most first and foremost, so I can make the most of the time I have.”

Near the end of the year last year I found myself very overwhelmed with life.  I felt unhappy and really just truthfully felt hopeless.  There are certain things about my life that I wanted so bad to change (nothing immoral – and it’s none of your business J).  I really lacked any type of vision for my life whatsoever.  During 21 days of prayer and fasting that was just my main prayer “God give me vision for my life, vision for my family’s lives, vision for our future.”  I firmly believe that having vision constantly before you is what keeps your motivation to succeed up.  Constantly being reminded of why you do things, and everything you do serving a purpose keeps you engaged in life.  I realized that I was doing (and still am to a degree) so many things just really for the sake of doing them.  So things piled up and piled up and suddenly I was doing so many things that I was overwhelmed.  I was stressed and unhappy and felt like that was carrying over to my home life.  I was physically and emotionally worn out and just tired, tired, tired when I was home.  I knew that wasn’t fair to my family and really not fair to me.  I was not enjoying my life.

Along the way I’ve been making little tweaks here and there.  Backing off from meetings and appointments where my presence really made no difference whatsoever, cancelling my Facebook account, I stopped venting personal things in my life to people who could not help.  The older I get the more I see how exhausting chatter for the sake of chatter is.  It may not even be audible chatter.  Constantly checking in to Facebook to see that someone liked some random photo that belongs to someone I don’t even know (WHAT SENSE DOES THAT EVEN MAKE???  WHY DO I CARE?? I DON’T!)  So I cut those things out.  I see the value of using social media for “marketing”…totally get it, but I honestly feel like it’s such a dangerous thing for personal use.  It sounds extreme…but the stress that constant chatter causes just isn’t worth it.  This girl’s brain can only take so much.

I also took some time to plan out how to readjust my priorities.  “What are my main priorities?  MY walk with God and my family.”  So I’ve made it a point to keep those my priorities.  I’ve just realized that there are different seasons in life.  Right now my kids are getting older, they are in a place where having my husband and I around is important.  We need to be available to impart things into them while our opinion matters J.  We need to be PRESENT (and not tired) as much as possible.  Our two oldest are school-aged and face things at school that sometimes require us to be there for encouragement, give them direction in how to navigate, etc.  It’s now that we are setting the tone for our relationships with our kids for years to come.  It’s now that we are able to create that safe place where our kids feel comfortable venting when they grow to be teenagers.  It’s taken me realizing that there will be times when I can be available again for things outside of our home, but what matters now is home—creating a safe place for my husband after a long day at work, being there to raise my children and give them (hopefully) a magical childhood. 

It has taken some time to readjust to not having somewhere to be all the time or not thinking about projects all the time.  I can honestly say that I’m a happier person though.  There’s just something comforting about recognizing seasons in life and realizing this particular season is only going to last so long.